Love is about being invested in someone’s continual expansion
This is one of the joys and challenges of love: the more skillfully you love someone, the more held, encouraged, and accepted they feel, the more they change.
This capacity to see through objects and notice how they can be reconfigured is closely related to agency. Having learned how to pick things apart and build them back together, my grandparents had a more granular view of the world. They could tinker with and adapt the world around them to better fit their needs.
Reading well is an endurance sport. I sometimes talk to people who want to become serious readers and so pick up Kafka’s The Trial or something like that—it is about as pleasant as running a marathon untrained.
Life is not a story that builds to a climax. It is a story that meanders. In the first half, we accumulate resources—skills, friends, status—and, in the second half, we lose them, bit by bit.
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