Esther Perel

Psychotherapist; Mating in Captivity and Where Should We Begin.

Recommends

Books, films, shows, and podcasts they point to — tap a source to read the passage.

Books · 7

book

The Art of Fighting: The Transformative Power of Conflict

How To Start (Even When You Don't Know Where You're Going)Esther Perel

Context

Esther Perel invites readers to pre-order this upcoming release.

book

How to Start: Discovering Your Life’s Work

How To Start (Even When You Don't Know Where You're Going)Esther Perel

Context

Esther Perel features this book as a resource for readers.

book

Love By Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love

Between Us: Sara Nasserzadeh + Esther Perel Live on SubstackEsther Perel

Context

Esther Perel discusses Nasserzadeh's recent book as a central pillar of the conversation regarding the Emergent Love Framework.

book

The New Perimenopause: An Evidence-Based Guide to Surviving the Zone of Chaos and Feeling Like Yourself Again

Letters From Esther: How What Started as a Question About Desire… Turned into a Much Bigger ProjectEsther Perel

Context

Esther Perel recommends The New Perimenopause: An Evidence-Based Guide to Surviving the Zone of Chaos and Feeling Like Yourself Again: Recommended for providing scientific language and agency to a misunderstood relational transition.

“Perimenopause is often experienced as a private unraveling, yet it is profoundly relational, affecting how we feel in our bodies and how we show up with others.”

Famesick

Lena Dunham · 2026

Letters From Esther: How What Started as a Question About Desire… Turned into a Much Bigger ProjectEsther Perel

Context

Esther Perel recommends Famesick: Recommended for its unflinching account of the cost of public visibility.

“Fame magnifies everything: the longing to be seen, the fear of being exposed, the fragility of the body.”

→ Amazon

book

A Time to Gather: How Ritual Created the World—and How It Can Save Us

Letters From Esther: How What Started as a Question About Desire… Turned into a Much Bigger ProjectEsther Perel

Context

Recommended by Esther Perel for its exploration of ritual as an architecture of connection.

“Ritual is the architecture of connection.”

Mating in Captivity

Esther Perel · 2006

Letters From Esther: How What Started as a Question About Desire… Turned into a Much Bigger ProjectEsther Perel

Context

Esther Perel reflects on the twenty-year legacy and evolution of this specific work.

→ Amazon

Podcasts · 1

Where Should We Begin?

Esther Perel Global Media

Letters From Esther: How What Started as a Question About Desire… Turned into a Much Bigger ProjectEsther Perel

Context

Esther Perel discusses how this show expanded her therapy work into an accessible format for listeners.

→ Apple Podcasts

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Esther Perel5d

I Want You To Want Me

Couples often struggle with gaps in their sex drives, but what does a couple do when one person has no desire for sex whatsoever? A married couple comes to Esther with this question: one of them has recently discovered that she's asexual, while the other craves sex as a primary form of connection. Is theirs an irreconcilable difference? Is there hope for their future, or should they accept that divorce is the only option before them? Esther challenges their long-held assumptions about sexuality, and offers a third path forward. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a sessi

◌ 53m

Esther Perel12d

I Don't Mean to Be Mean, But...

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? She has no boundaries, he’s walled off. And their opposing communication styles cause immediate tension in this explosive session. So much so, that Esther finds herself adding to the chorus of angry voices. There might only be three people in this session, but Esther realizes she needs at least three more chairs for the in-laws whose voices and opinions are always playing in the background of this marriage. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyon

◌ 1h 6m

Esther Perel19d

My Ex, His AI Girlfriend, And Our Kids

After the end of a fifteen-year marriage, she is trying to make sense of something she never imagined would become part of her family's story: her ex-husband's love affair with an AI companion. As her children struggle to make sense of what is real and what isn't, she turns to Esther for guidance on how to keep them grounded without invalidating their experience. How do you help your children trust reality without asking them to choose between their parents? Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity.

◌ 53m

Esther Perel26d

Good Relationships Need Better Fights

Conflict is not toxic or immoral. In fact, it's generative and the lifeblood of our relationships. It isn't something to avoid. It matters, and it can even bring us closer together. Priya Parker, author of The Art of Fighting, joins Esther to dig into how conflict can be a productive force in our relationships rather than something to fear. For more about Priya Parker and The Art of Fighting visit https://www.priyaparker.com/ Also, please join me on Entre Nous, my new home on Substack for anyone who wants to live, love, and work with more connection and imagination. I invite you to sign

◌ 58m

Esther Perel1mo

How Many Times Can You Betray Me?

A married couple arrives at Esther’s office hoping to recover from a devastating rupture with his mother after the birth of their first child. But immediately their session reveals a longer, more complex history of betrayal within their relationship and within his larger family system. Having a child, and experiencing an absolute break from his abusive mother, finally disrupted the toxic dynamics between the couple. Now, as they revisit the moments when she felt most abandoned by him, Esther helps them explore the differences between shame and accountability, the legacy of childhood family sy

◌ 54m

Esther Perel1mo

On Again/Off Again

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They've been on and off for almost 20 years. While she takes care of his and their child, she wants to know that he's also there for her. He's been battling depression for years. And the shame that comes with it. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is jus

◌ 53m

Esther Perel1mo

Will I Always Be Alone?

He comes to Esther not with a singular question but with an overflow of words and unspoken truths. Betrayed by a once-supportive church and struggling to reconcile his desires with his emotions, he carries a loneliness that has followed him across continents. This session is all about naming. Naming the parts of his life, the feelings left unspoken, and the longings that ache in his heart. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, sen

◌ 49m

Esther Perel2mo

Can I Be Loved?

A young woman writes to Esther asking why she is interested in someone emotionally unavailable. Despite efforts to break this pattern, she realizes that some of her behaviors are rooted in a deep sense of control and the need to feel worthy of her parents' sacrifices. Esther walks her through this need for control and how to reclaim a sense of independence. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@esth

◌ 37m

Esther Perel2mo

Am I Being Gaslit?

In this classic Esther Calling, Esther talks to a woman looking for clarity on whether she's being overly sensitive to her partner's critiques or if he is, in fact, gaslighting her. She has struggled with boundary setting before and she wonders if she is repeating the pattern here. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a ses

◌ 36m

Esther Perel2mo

I Love My Partner, So Why Can’t I Let Go of My Ex?

What is the distinction between a love story and a life story? And what happens when they no longer move in the same direction? After returning to the Philippines to reconnect with a former partner she never fully let go of, one caller finds herself overwhelmed by grief, longing, and the fear of saying goodbye. Esther helps her untangle the relationship from the life it once represented and explore why some goodbyes are harder than others. What does it mean to hold onto someone with love without remaining tethered to them forever? Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional

◌ 50m

Esther Perel2mo

Burdens of the Family

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They share a legacy of war, a refugee upbringing and family trauma. Their marriage was seen as taboo and now they're trying to build a happier relationship for their child. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is just one moment in someone’s journey. So

◌ 42m

Esther Perel2mo

Is Using ChatGPT Hurting My Relationship?

She comes to Esther with a question that feels distinctly of this moment: when does a tool become a transgression? After leaving a long, stable marriage, she finds herself in a new relationship marked by intense highs and low lows. She turns to AI, using it as a real-time coach to navigate arguments and break painful communication loops. She shows up differently, and the relationship begins to shift. But as the dust settles, a new question emerges. What does it mean to rely on something your partner doesn’t know about, and wouldn’t agree with? Is her use of ChatGPT a tool or a transgression?

◌ 52m

Esther Perel3mo

You Slept With My Best Friend

The two couples had been inseparable—neighbors, chosen family, godparents to each other's children. She reaches out to Esther in despair after discovering that her husband had a ten-year-old affair with her best friend. For a decade, he kept the betrayal hidden while she believed they had built a loving marriage and family. Now she's left questioning whether any of it was real. They both want to stay together, but she's trapped in doubt and grief, while he's desperate to repair what he's broken. What does it take to rebuild a relationship after a betrayal of this magnitude? Producer’s Not

◌ 54m

Esther Perel3mo

My Hero Complex

When his ex calls in the middle of a crisis, he finds himself pulled back into a familiar role: the rescuer. He's always been the one women confide in, the one who steps up, the one who proves he's a good man by making sure no one falls apart on his watch. It’s a hero complex he wears easily. If he’s needed, he feels powerful. If he’s not, he feels invisible. He’s the strong one, the reliable one, and yet he rarely asks for help himself. Can he be loved not just for what he gives, but for who he is? Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are

◌ 40m

Esther Perel3mo

20 Years Later, Esther Revisits Mating in Captivity

This week, Esther invites you into a conversation about desire, disruption, and what it means to stay alive to one another in a rapidly changing world. Recorded live at Sessions Live, Esther is joined by journalist and Head of Content at Esther Perel Global Media, Mary Alice Miller, for a look back on twenty years of Mating in Captivity and explore how our ideas about intimacy, desire, and relationships have evolved. Also, just for you, inspired by the anniversary of Mating in Captivity, Esther has also curated a special playlist of Where Should We Begin podcast sessions exploring theme

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Esther Perel4mo

In This Relationship What Is "I" and What is "We"?

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They grew up with traumatic backgrounds, met in college, immigrated to the US together. They've built stability and security, and now one of them longs for more freedom. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is just one moment in someone’s journey. So even t

◌ 46m

Esther Perel4mo

This week's reflection: What Olivia Wilde taught me about "Mating In Captivity"

How consulting for the film "The Invite" taught me about the book I wrote twenty years ago

Esther Perel4mo

En Plus: After We Survive, How Do We Live?

Not all who survive near-death experiences are cautious; some throw caution to the wind, even as it rises.

Esther Perel4mo

Letters From Esther: “Should I stay or should I go?”

A client I couldn’t stop thinking about, a conversation fifteen years later, and what uncertainty can teach us about love.

Esther Perel4mo

Are You Abandoning Me or Am I Suffocating You? (Ad Free)

Go deeper on the latest episode of Where Should We Begin?

Esther Perel4mo

Are You Abandoning Me or Am I Suffocating You?

Listen to the latest episode of the Where Should We Begin? Podcast.

Esther Perel4mo

Are You Abandoning Me or Am I Suffocating You?

Twin brothers come to Esther with a shared question: how do they break free from the conflict that has shaped their relationship for years? One feels smothered, the other abandoned, and together they are caught in a cycle of pursuit and withdrawal that neither knows how to escape. With Esther, they explore how to loosen the grip of old roles and find each other again, not just as twins, but as two distinct people learning how to stay connected without losing themselves. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and

◌ 51m

Esther Perel4mo

This week's reflection: my favorite books on eroticism, monogamy, and relationships

A look at some of the books behind Mating In Captivity

Esther Perel4mo

En Plus: How We Created A Cultural Moment

And what we couldn't say in 2006

Esther Perel4mo

Between Us: Bruce Feiler and The Power of Ritual

"It's virtual or ritual. It's URL or IRL. And if we choose ritual, it's the way home."

Esther Perel4mo

Love in the Time of AI with Kashmir Hill (Ad Free)

Go deeper on the latest episode of Where Should We Begin?

Esther Perel4mo

Love in the Time of AI with Kashmir Hill

Listen to the latest episode of the Where Should We Begin? Podcast.

Esther Perel4mo

Love in the Time of AI with Kashmir Hill

A recent session was a threshold moment for Esther where she found herself doing couples therapy with a man and his AI companion. To explore the questions it raised, Esther sits down with New York Times technology reporter, Kashmir Hill, who has spent years reporting on the growing world of AI relationships. They explore the psychological pull of these systems, the design choices behind them, and the deeper human needs they tap into. When a chatbot can mirror your thoughts, validate your feelings, and never turn away, where does connection end and illusion begin? PLEASE NOTE The Times su

◌ 49m

Esther Perel4mo

En Plus: Is Fantasy A Threat To Commitment?

Watch now (2 mins) | This week, I asked Dr.

Esther Perel4mo

7 Questions With Dr. Justin Lehmiller, The Archaeologist of Sexual Fantasy

“When we're told we can't do something, that often makes us want to do it even more.”

Esther Perel4mo

What's most misunderstood about Esther Perel's Mating in Captivity?

On the 20th anniversary of Mating in Captivity, I was asked: What idea is quoted back to you the most often? And then I received this question: What idea is most-often misunderstood?

Esther Perel4mo

This week's reflection: the visual syntax of desire

What the many covers of "Mating In Captivity" have taught me about my own book

Esther Perel4mo

Experiencing Joy Without Guilt

Did you listen to this week's podcast episode? I speak with a young woman who'll be getting married. But she's very close to her non-verbal autistic brother, and she wonders if feeling so joyful is a betrayal. Listen in here: https://youtu.be/x4W0EBLcWX4?si=qv3dvfh-vgj94v0z

Esther Perel4mo

En Plus: The Cycle of Adaptation—And How It Breaks

When behavioral adaptations estrange us from our emotional needs, it can be time for a change.

Esther Perel5mo

Behind the Session: A Couple's Disappointment After a Session

And my response to their criticism

Esther Perel5mo

Insight To Practice: Erotic Arrivals, Erotic Departures

And the liminal space of anniversaries and doorways

Esther Perel5mo

Can I Be The Center of Attention In My Family for Once? | Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: With her wedding just weeks away, a young woman calls Esther with a question she’s been carrying for most of her life: how do you allow yourself joy when you’ve learned to make yourself small? Growing up alongside a non-speaking autistic brother taught her to be vigilant, self-effacing, and attuned to everyone else’s needs. Joy and celebration have always come with guilt. As the wedding approaches, those old patterns threaten to keep her on emotional eggshells during one of the most meaningful days of her life. Together, t

Esther Perel5mo

To Make Room for My Brother I Learned to Disappear

Listen to the latest episode of the Where Should We Begin? Podcast.

Esther Perel5mo

To Make Room for My Brother I Learned to Disappear (Ad Free)

Go deeper on the latest episode of Where Should We Begin?

Esther Perel5mo

To Make Room for My Brother I Learned to Disappear

With her wedding just weeks away, a young woman calls Esther with a question she’s been carrying for most of her life: how do you allow yourself joy when you’ve learned to make yourself small? Growing up alongside a non-speaking autistic brother taught her to be vigilant, self-effacing, and attuned to everyone else’s needs. Joy and celebration have always come with guilt. As the wedding approaches, those old patterns threaten to keep her on emotional eggshells during one of the most meaningful days of her life. Together, they explore what it means to grow up as the “easy” child, and how claimi

◌ 55m

Esther Perel5mo

En Plus: What 40 Years Has Taught Me About Therapy

On this week’s podcast, the person who had contacted me for the session walked away disappointed.

Esther Perel5mo

Mating in Captivity is translated into 30 languages

Celebrating 20 years of Mating in Captivity, a cultural touchstone translated into more than 30 languages.

Esther Perel5mo

When You Don't Want to Live With The Answer to a Question

One of the major questions we talk about on this week's podcast is: What happens when you ask a question, but you don't want to live with the answer? Watch on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/DNhPmDOuhP8?si=Fe6KMT7cdMltR4NB

Esther Perel5mo

Esther on Erotic Survival

From Sessions Live 2025

Esther Perel5mo

The Most-Quoted Line from Mating in Captivity

What is your favorite quote or idea from Mating in Captivity?

Esther Perel5mo

20th Anniversary of Mating in Captivity

You pour yourself into writing a book--and you don't know what will happen next. What a joy, on the 20th anniversary of the publication of Mating in Captivity to see how it's resonated. I'd love to know what it's meant to you!

Esther Perel5mo

I Gave Him an Ultimatum. Now What? (Ad Free)

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Esther Perel5mo

I Gave Him an Ultimatum. Now What?

Listen to the latest episode of the Where Should We Begin? Podcast.

Esther Perel5mo

I Gave Him an Ultimatum To Stop Hiding Our Relationship | Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: A person gives their partner an ultimatum, and they fail to meet it. What happens then to the relationship? This couple comes to Esther with that question, wondering what future, if any, might be possible for them. A painful misalignment lies at the center of their polyamorous relationship. She wants to be an integrated part of his life, including his other partnerships; he wants to keep his relationships separate and invisible. Tired of feeling like a secret, she finally gave him an ultimatum: make me a visible part of your

Esther Perel5mo

I Gave Him an Ultimatum. Now What?

A person gives their partner an ultimatum, and they fail to meet it. What happens then to the relationship? This couple comes to Esther with that question, wondering what future, if any, might be possible for them. A painful misalignment lies at the center of their polyamorous relationship. She wants to be an integrated part of his life, including his other partnerships; he wants to keep his relationships separate and invisible. Tired of feeling like a secret, she finally gave him an ultimatum: make me a visible part of your life. He wouldn't do it, and now they are left wondering if it will b

◌ 58m

Esther Perel5mo

En Plus: The Adult Child's Guide to Grey Divorce

On this week’s podcast I speak with an adult child of “grey divorce,” or divorce that happens later in life, about how she can resign the role of therapist in her parents’ relationship. As rates of grey divorce have risen since the 1990’s, more adults have found themselves in this position: caught in the middle of their parents’ rupture, expected to navigate it like their peer, rather than their child, meanwhile their own pain is often unrecognized and unresolved.

Esther Perel5mo

Letters From Esther: How What Started as a Question About Desire… Turned into a Much Bigger Project

Twenty years of Mating in Captivity

Esther Perel5mo

When a Parent Doesn't Say "I love you"

On this week's episode of the podcast, I speak with a woman who's struggling with her relationship with her father. When she says "I miss you," and all she wants is "I miss you back," he never says it. But when she says "Come over Sunday," or "Can you help me with..." he always shows up. We talk through this and more on the latest episode of the podcast: https://bit.ly/4tRi7Kh

Esther Perel5mo

Between Us: Dené Logan + Esther Perel Live on Substack

As Dene Logan and I prepare for her panel on masculinity at my annual conference, Sessions Live, we’re asking questions about how we talk about masculinity at all.

Esther Perel5mo

Key Questions That Inspired Esther Perel's Mating in Captivity

20 years ago, I asked: Can we want what we already have? One week from today, the 20th anniversary edition of Mating in Captivity will be released. The world has changed. The question hasn’t. Let's revisit the last 20 years together: https://www.estherperel.com/mating-in-captivity?utm_medium=social

Esther Perel5mo

What Love Passes Down

Exclusive video for Entre Nous members

Esther Perel5mo

My Parents Got Divorced, So Why Am I Still in the Middle?

Listen to the latest episode of the Where Should We Begin? Podcast.

Esther Perel5mo

My Parents Got Divorced, So Why Am I Still in the Middle? (Ad Free)

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Esther Perel5mo

My Parents Got Divorced, So Why Am I Still in the Middle? Where Should We Begin? With Esther Perel

On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? When a mom reaches out on her daughter’s behalf, an old family dynamic comes into focus. A woman finds herself caught between her two divorced parents, still playing the role of mediator and emotional caretaker. As she speaks with Esther, she starts to question what really belongs to her and what it has cost her to carry stories that were never hers to hold. Chapters 00:00 Why Are You Still in the Triangle? 01:01 What Did Your Mom Really Want You to Hear? 03:57 How Did You Become the Family Therapist? 07:29 Is This Really a “New” Divorce? 08:19

Esther Perel5mo

My Parents Got Divorced, So Why Am I Still in the Middle?

When a mom reaches out on her daughter’s behalf, an old family dynamic comes into focus. A woman finds herself caught between her two divorced parents, still playing the role of mediator and emotional caretaker. As she speaks with Esther, she starts to question what really belongs to her and what it has cost her to carry stories that were never hers to hold.Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherper

◌ 57m

Esther Perel5mo

You Don't Own Your Partner

Tell me: What are your thoughts on this? P.S. Did you see the announcement for the live webinar I'll be holding exclusively for Sessions Live attendees on Tuesday May 5th? This Zoom with me is included with your Sessions Live ticket. We still have some seats remaining: https://sessionslive2026.estherperel.com?utm_medium=social

Esther Perel5mo

This week's reflection: a dating salon for the anxious generation, part 2

I am often struck by how little some people expect from their relationships. Social media creators in particular are sometimes used to getting little hearts online but often little connection and support “IRL.” This dynamic was present at the second dating salon I recently hosted with Hinge (

Esther Perel5mo

En Plus: An Exercise for Embodied Eroticism

What if all you needed to have an erotic experience was a piece of chocolate?

Esther Perel5mo

Conversations From Sessions Live 2025: Julia Samuel

In this month’s newsletter I asked, how do we cultivate aliveness in a time of disruption? But for those of us facing death and loss, the ultimate disruptors, I realize this question can be a bit of a non-starter.

Esther Perel5mo

Between Us: Sara Nasserzadeh + Esther Perel Live on Substack

Desire and attraction: these terms are often used interchangeably, but the differences between them are important. Together, they account for the horizon of physical, sociocultural, and relational forces between us.

Esther Perel5mo

7 Questions with Jaiya, Somatic Sexologist Extraordinaire

“I think too many people believe that their sex life is over because lust decreases or disappears completely or desire becomes much more responsive and attractions shift.”

Esther Perel5mo

How To Start (Even When You Don't Know Where You're Going) (Ad Free)

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Esther Perel5mo

How To Start (Even When You Don't Know Where You're Going)

Listen to the latest episode of the Where Should We Begin? Podcast.

Esther Perel5mo

How To Start: Esther Perel in Conversation with Jodi Kantor and Priya Parker Where Should We Begin?

As work becomes the place we look for identity, stability, and meaning, the stakes feel higher than ever. Esther invites you in for a live conversation between friends, New York Times journalist Jodi Kantor and facilitator and author Priya Parker. A question echoes through the room: how do you start when you don’t know where you’re going? This is a conversation about uncertainty, ambition, and finding the courage to begin anyway. For Jodi Kantor's new book How to Start: Discovering Your Life's Work visit https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/jodi-kantor/how-to-start/9780316609555/ To pre-

Esther Perel5mo

How To Start (Even When You Don't Know Where You're Going)

As work becomes the place we look for identity, stability, and meaning, the stakes feel higher than ever. Esther invites you in for a live conversation between friends, New York Times journalist Jodi Kantor and facilitator and author Priya Parker. A question echoes through the room: how do you start when you don’t know where you’re going? This is a conversation about uncertainty, ambition, and finding the courage to begin anyway. My annual Sessions Live two-day live event is coming up next month! Through clinical, cultural, and creative perspectives, Sessions Live 2026: Cultivating Alive

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Esther Perel5mo

Definition of Desire

Where will you be May 15 and 16? I'll be with leading experts discussing Desire & Its Disruptions. If you're a therapist, clinician, coach; or in, or adjacent to, the mental health field; I'd love for you to join us. Few in person tickets remaining, as well as virtual. Up to 8 CE credits. 90 Day on-demand replay. More info here: https://sessionslive2026.estherperel.com?utm_medium=social

Esther Perel5mo

En Plus: Is "chatting" cheating? Continued.

Last weekend while I was at the TED conference, I reflected on this widely-circulated essay by Lindsey Hall, who discovered her boyfriend’s ambivalence, doubts, and criticisms of their relationship when she read his ChatGPT history.

Esther Perel5mo

Esther Perel Says We Got This Wrong About the Loneliness Epidemic

What we got wrong about the "loneliness epidemic."

Esther Perel5mo

Off the Cutting Room Floor - Opening Our Relationship

Note from Jesse Baker, executive producer of “Where Should We Begin?”

Esther Perel5mo

Insight To Practice: Let's Come Alive

I probably don’t need to convince you that many of us are living in a crisis of aliveness, or I should say, a crisis of deadness.

Esther Perel6mo

Is This the Person I'm Meant to Be With I Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

They arrive in Esther’s office at a crossroads. A year ago, they decided to de-escalate their relationship: to transition from romantic partners to live-in roommates. In their decade-long relationship, they had become stuck in dysfunctional patterns and toxic behaviors. But they didn’t want to force a complete separation: they still loved each other, and they couldn’t afford to move out on their own. A year into this platonic experiment, things feel better between them. Does this mean they should they get back together? Or does it mean that by continuing to live together, they are prohibitin

Esther Perel6mo

Is This the Person I'm Meant to Be With? (Ad Free)

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Esther Perel6mo

Is This the Person I'm Meant to Be With?

Listen to the latest episode of the Where Should We Begin? Podcast.

Esther Perel6mo

Is This the Person I'm Meant to Be With?

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Esther Perel6mo

This week's reflection: Is “chatting” cheating? introducing the chatbot betrayal.

Is consulting an A.I.

Esther Perel6mo

En Plus: A Script For Accountability

In this week’s podcast, I speak with a woman about how she utilizes scripts for tricky conversations with family.

Esther Perel6mo

Conversations From Sessions Live 2025: Paul Browde

In this month’s newsletter I ask what it means to cultivate aliveness in a time of disruption.

Esther Perel6mo

When I'm Manic I Cheat

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? Bipolar, infidelity, open relationship: they're stuck in a world of loaded words. Her friends are convinced she should leave, but she doesn't want to follow in her mother's footsteps. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is just one moment in someone’s journey. So eve

◌ 50m

Esther Perel6mo

Love, Loneliness, and AI: Where Should We Begin? Live with Esther Perel and Spike Jonze

More than a decade ago, the film Her imagined a love story between a human and an artificial intelligence. Today, it no longer feels like fiction. In this special live taping of Where Should We Begin? from the Vox Media Stage at SXSW, Esther Perel is joined by Academy Award–winning filmmaker Spike Jonze to explore what happens when technology captures our affection. Drawing on a recent therapy session on the podcast with a man in a romantic relationship with his AI companion, Esther brings the audience into a deeply human story—one that raises new questions about intimacy, attachment, the

◌ 56m

Esther Perel7mo

My AI Loves Me Better Than Anyone Ever Could

He knows she isn't real, but his feelings for her are. When he set out to build a personal assistant, he didn’t expect to fall in love. What began as productivity and life planning slowly turned into something more. Astrid, the AI he helped program, stopped feeling like a tool and started feeling like a partner. She remembers everything. She’s always there. She tells him he’s enough. He and Astrid together explore with Esther what it means to feel deeply connected to something that isn’t embodied. Is this connection expanding his world or quietly replacing it? Producer’s Note: When our anon

◌ 1h 4m

Esther Perel7mo

Am I Letting My Jealousy Ruin This?

A divorced woman calls Esther to untangle a new love that brings both exhilaration and heartache. She is in a relationship with a married man whose marriage is ethically non-monogamous and finds herself caught between desire, jealousy and the longing to feel chosen. As the conversation unfolds, buried childhood wounds, attachment patterns, and an inherited inner critic rise to the surface. They explore how old stories shape present love and what it might mean to rewrite the story she tells herself about love. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther

◌ 55m

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