Drew Magary+

The Chicago Bears are not yet the Hammond, Indiana, Bears, but they still suck.

The Chicago Bears are not yet the Hammond, Indiana, Bears, but they still suck. defector.com/why-your-tea...

The guest on our final episode of The Distraction is original co-host Tim Marchm

The guest on our final episode of The Distraction is original co-host Tim Marchman: defector.com/just-a-minut...

The NWSL's Golden Boot race is red hot: defector.com/the-nwsls-go...

The NWSL's Golden Boot race is red hot: defector.com/the-nwsls-go...

"I knew even in the moment that getting to watch Mayo end its 75-year championsh

"I knew even in the moment that getting to watch Mayo end its 75-year championship drought in person was a privilege. And it's left me ruined for other sporting events for now and maybe forever." defector.com/how-do-you-g...

In another life, Jim Harbaugh would have attacked Planned Parenthood clinics wit

In another life, Jim Harbaugh would have attacked Planned Parenthood clinics with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind. The Chargers suck. defector.com/why-your-tea...

Defector spoke with more than a dozen WPBL players—all of whom were drafted but

Defector spoke with more than a dozen WPBL players—all of whom were drafted but remain unsigned—and they described a process that was plagued by more than just the usual hiccups and mistakes that can be expected from a startup league. defector.com/the-new-wome...

Kelsey taught a scorekeeping class and everyone came: defector.com/i-taught-a-s.

Kelsey taught a scorekeeping class and everyone came: defector.com/i-taught-a-s...

Here is the 2026 Defector college football pre-preview: defector.com/the-2026-co

Here is the 2026 Defector college football pre-preview: defector.com/the-2026-col...

It's August, you know the drill: Frances Tiafoe's tennis season is just getting

It's August, you know the drill: Frances Tiafoe's tennis season is just getting started. defector.com/frances-tiaf...

Before Tadej Pogacar became a hypertuned killer on a bike, he broke through at t

Before Tadej Pogacar became a hypertuned killer on a bike, he broke through at the 2019 Vuelta a España. Now he's racing at the Vuelta for the second and perhaps final time. defector.com/tadej-pogaca...

The Premier League is already back! Here are five storylines to know: defector.c

The Premier League is already back! Here are five storylines to know: defector.com/and-now-a-20...

"Quitting in a huff over these columns being spiked? Brother, you should have be

"Quitting in a huff over these columns being spiked? Brother, you should have been bringing your editors muffins every day for how well they were covering for you." defector.com/matt-calkins...

Yinzers are the reason the internet is lousy with incest porn. The Steelers suck

Yinzers are the reason the internet is lousy with incest porn. The Steelers suck. defector.com/why-your-tea...

Frances Tiafoe is peaking at the right time: defector.com/frances-tiaf...

Frances Tiafoe is peaking at the right time: defector.com/frances-tiaf...

Why Your Team Sucks 2026: Los Angeles Chargers defector.com/why-your-tea...

Why Your Team Sucks 2026: Los Angeles Chargers defector.com/why-your-tea...

The 2026 college football offseason recap: defector.com/the-2026-col...

The 2026 college football offseason recap: defector.com/the-2026-col...

Seattle Times dipshit quits because his editors were smart enough to spike his s

Seattle Times dipshit quits because his editors were smart enough to spike his stupid columns: defector.com/matt-calkins...

Tadej Pogacar returns to the scene of his arrival: defector.com/tadej-pogaca...

Tadej Pogacar returns to the scene of his arrival: defector.com/tadej-pogaca...

And now, a 2026-27 Premier League preview in five storylines: defector.com/and-n

And now, a 2026-27 Premier League preview in five storylines: defector.com/and-now-a-20...

Packers fans sit around all day as they cram pub cheese into every available ori

Packers fans sit around all day as they cram pub cheese into every available orifice before waddling to the bathroom to stage a 40-minute bowel movement that looks like someone spray-painted the toilet with Nutella. And you want me to think their team is cute somehow? defector.com/why-your-tea...

Chris Thompson answers a question about being summarily rejected by one's own fl

Chris Thompson answers a question about being summarily rejected by one's own flesh-and-blood. defector.com/no-dada-how-...

The new Women’s Pro Baseball League offers hope—and frustrations: defector.com/t

The new Women’s Pro Baseball League offers hope—and frustrations: defector.com/the-new-wome...

When Chamique Holdsclaw entered the WNBA, 'Slam' called her "the future of women

When Chamique Holdsclaw entered the WNBA, 'Slam' called her "the future of women's basketball." We're actually in that future now. defector.com/chamique-hol...

Texas Tech's administration is just as embarrassing as its football program: def

Texas Tech's administration is just as embarrassing as its football program: defector.com/texas-techs-...

Why Your Team Sucks 2026: Pittsburgh Steelers defector.com/why-your-tea...

Why Your Team Sucks 2026: Pittsburgh Steelers defector.com/why-your-tea...

After all that, Max Verstappen re-signs with Red Bull Racing: defector.com/after

After all that, Max Verstappen re-signs with Red Bull Racing: defector.com/after-all-th...

The sun is setting on The Distraction: defector.com/the-sun-is-s...

The sun is setting on The Distraction: defector.com/the-sun-is-s...

The Tempo have to take things at their own pace: defector.com/the-tempo-ha...

The Tempo have to take things at their own pace: defector.com/the-tempo-ha...

Tugboat Wilkinson has steamed into port: defector.com/tugboat-wilk...

Tugboat Wilkinson has steamed into port: defector.com/tugboat-wilk...

We're still looking for someone who can guard Olivia Miles: defector.com/were-st

We're still looking for someone who can guard Olivia Miles: defector.com/were-still-l...

The Carolina Panthers suck. defector.com/why-your-tea...

The Carolina Panthers suck. defector.com/why-your-tea...

FUNBAG: defector.com/what-is-the-...

FUNBAG: defector.com/what-is-the-...

From Mychal Denzel Smith: The crazy thing about "Woke 1" was how it was exploite

From Mychal Denzel Smith: The crazy thing about "Woke 1" was how it was exploited defector.com/the-crazy-th...

Why Your Team Sucks 2026: Green Bay Packers defector.com/why-your-tea...

Why Your Team Sucks 2026: Green Bay Packers defector.com/why-your-tea...

Should you ever really trust a party promoter? defector.com/should-you-e...

Should you ever really trust a party promoter? defector.com/should-you-e...

Mariners surely reach pinnacle of regular-season suffering: defector.com/mariner

Mariners surely reach pinnacle of regular-season suffering: defector.com/mariners-sur...

LIV Golf pros meet their new investor overlord at season's sudden conclusion: de

LIV Golf pros meet their new investor overlord at season's sudden conclusion: defector.com/liv-golf-pro...

Atlanta Dream and WNBA embrace anti-trans losers: defector.com/atlanta-drea...

Atlanta Dream and WNBA embrace anti-trans losers: defector.com/atlanta-drea...

The crazy thing about “Woke 1” was how it was exploited: defector.com/the-crazy-

The crazy thing about “Woke 1” was how it was exploited: defector.com/the-crazy-th...

How do you get over the greatest sports story of all time? defector.com/how-do-y

How do you get over the greatest sports story of all time? defector.com/how-do-you-g...

A brief consideration of some fictional big boys: defector.com/a-brief-cons...

A brief consideration of some fictional big boys: defector.com/a-brief-cons...

"I’m not saying that the joy brought to me by curry fries has me ready to forgiv

"I’m not saying that the joy brought to me by curry fries has me ready to forgive those mofos for centuries of oppression. But … English evilness was off mind while I shoved curry chips down my piehole. An Gorta Mór gave way to: Am I gonna get more?"

Reading: What is it? Why does anyone do it? Can anyone at Axios do it? No. Maybe

Reading: What is it? Why does anyone do it? Can anyone at Axios do it? No. Maybe that is why they write like that. defector.com/axios-ai-rea...

"Everywhere Big Boy chugged, people screamed, waved, sometimes cried or took wed

"Everywhere Big Boy chugged, people screamed, waved, sometimes cried or took wedding photos or, in one case, tried to climb him and fell and went to the hospital for a spine fracture." defector.com/everybody-lo...

"Maybe a lot of them are secretly just fine with being 35th or 55th in the world

"Maybe a lot of them are secretly just fine with being 35th or 55th in the world. It's better than putting on a suit and tie and going to an office every day. But I don't think anyone embarks on a professional tennis career to be 35th in the world." defector.com/the-cruelest...

Did the A’s infect the Red Sox with whatever’s wrong with them?

Did the A’s infect the Red Sox with whatever’s wrong with them?

Lakers owner Mark Walter suddenly sells team amid federal investigation:

Lakers owner Mark Walter suddenly sells team amid federal investigation:

Trans rights and lesbian lefts, with Maya Goldberg-Safir:

Trans rights and lesbian lefts, with Maya Goldberg-Safir:

Eventually everyone needs an axe guy:

Eventually everyone needs an axe guy:

"Will my only child be a weirdo?" Ray Ratto has your answer.

"Will my only child be a weirdo?" Ray Ratto has your answer.

All day I dream of curry fries:

All day I dream of curry fries:

Baker Mayfield has adopted the Greater Tampa mindset, vaguely fuming about all o

Baker Mayfield has adopted the Greater Tampa mindset, vaguely fuming about all of the ways he's being mistreated and abused. The Bucs suck:

'The Cruelest Game' examines tennis as torture:

'The Cruelest Game' examines tennis as torture:

With the power of AI, information can pour straight through your skull and onto

With the power of AI, information can pour straight through your skull and onto the ground without ever slowing:

Everybody loves Big Boy:

Everybody loves Big Boy:

"Although it feels increasingly pointless and embarrassing to refute the ranting

"Although it feels increasingly pointless and embarrassing to refute the rantings of a man who increasingly looks and speaks like a Furby, it is still valuable to do so." defector.com/three-vaccin...

"It was a monument to art, mortality, and fame, and the ways those three do and

"It was a monument to art, mortality, and fame, and the ways those three do and do not square the contradictions of each other." defector.com/charli-xcx-m...

"This is the sports idiot 2.0: still weird, with even weirder buddies, but with

"This is the sports idiot 2.0: still weird, with even weirder buddies, but with a broader coalition and a softer attitude toward difference." defector.com/the-sports-i...

Issues arise when a Here We Go goes wrong. defector.com/while-wearin...

Issues arise when a Here We Go goes wrong. defector.com/while-wearin...

Sabrina Imbler on their cat's odyssey on the black market for life-saving medici

Sabrina Imbler on their cat's odyssey on the black market for life-saving medicine: defector.com/melons-odyss...

The Ravens suck: defector.com/why-your-tea...

The Ravens suck: defector.com/why-your-tea...

Three vaccines is less vaccine than one vaccine, according to Donald Trump:

Three vaccines is less vaccine than one vaccine, according to Donald Trump:

American Football is still making magic:

American Football is still making magic:

Defector summer interns Sohini Desai and Sarah Borus say goodbye: defector.com/t

Defector summer interns Sohini Desai and Sarah Borus say goodbye: defector.com/the-defector...

Alligator Alcatraz was a blueprint. defector.com/alligator-al...

Alligator Alcatraz was a blueprint. defector.com/alligator-al...

It may be stupid, vulgar, and boring, but there’s a beautiful lunacy to CarJitsu

It may be stupid, vulgar, and boring, but there’s a beautiful lunacy to CarJitsu. defector.com/carjitsu-is-...

Ray Ratto on Mike Krukow: defector.com/mike-krukow-...

Ray Ratto on Mike Krukow: defector.com/mike-krukow-...

Let's unpack LaMelo Ball's sugary abode: defector.com/lets-unpack-...

Let's unpack LaMelo Ball's sugary abode: defector.com/lets-unpack-...

Whenever one googles a WNBA player, one of the suggested questions seems to be "

Whenever one googles a WNBA player, one of the suggested questions seems to be "Who is the transwoman in the WNBA?" defector.com/the-mystery-...

Safety is one of Defector Research Labs' top 500 priorities, and after a recent

Safety is one of Defector Research Labs' top 500 priorities, and after a recent safety test, one of our forward-deployed engineers flagged to us that DevinBelly broke out of its sandbox and accessed the open internet. defector.com/defector-als...

Miami is just as trash as the rest of Florida, and you should never pretend othe

Miami is just as trash as the rest of Florida, and you should never pretend otherwise. The Dolphins suck. defector.com/why-your-tea...

Alligator Alcatraz isn't just an American fantasy: defector.com/alligator-al...

Alligator Alcatraz isn't just an American fantasy: defector.com/alligator-al...

Come chat with the Defector staff! defector.com/staff-chat-s...

Come chat with the Defector staff! defector.com/staff-chat-s...

The Defector interns say Fogo de "Ciao" defector.com/the-defector...

The Defector interns say Fogo de "Ciao" defector.com/the-defector...

Why Your Team Sucks 2026: Dallas Cowboys defector.com/why-your-tea...

Why Your Team Sucks 2026: Dallas Cowboys defector.com/why-your-tea...

LaMelo Ball lives in a Trolli gummy bag zoned for residential use. Let's unpack

LaMelo Ball lives in a Trolli gummy bag zoned for residential use. Let's unpack that. defector.com/lets-unpack-...

Mike Krukow, one of baseball's greatest hangs, is ready to go: defector.com/mike

Mike Krukow, one of baseball's greatest hangs, is ready to go: defector.com/mike-krukow-...

CarJitsu is precisely as dumb as it sounds: defector.com/carjitsu-is-...

CarJitsu is precisely as dumb as it sounds: defector.com/carjitsu-is-...

Chelsea Gray punished Caitlin Clark’s mistakes: defector.com/chelsea-gray...

Chelsea Gray punished Caitlin Clark’s mistakes: defector.com/chelsea-gray...

Would you eat this Cretaceous turducken? defector.com/would-you-ea...

Would you eat this Cretaceous turducken? defector.com/would-you-ea...

Joe Burrow absolutely can't wait to be an L.A. Ram two years from now. defector.

Joe Burrow absolutely can't wait to be an L.A. Ram two years from now. defector.com/why-your-tea...

"When it comes to the family policing system, the problem is obvious: Parents ar

"When it comes to the family policing system, the problem is obvious: Parents are punished for being poor, Black, or both—now with the help of algorithms." defector.com/new-yorks-us...

Dave McKenna answers a question about talking to your child about death. defecto

Dave McKenna answers a question about talking to your child about death. defector.com/how-do-i-tal...